Cinema Genius

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The first movie Da Vinci Code was boring: even the appearance of a crazy albino monk did not make it more entertaining.  We practically fell asleep while Tom Hanks was going through absurd church conspiracy theories and real meaning of Grail.  I think, Catholica church can be blamed in the success of that film. By panning it as a new heresy, priests attracted crowds of people into the theaters, the audience who would otherwise just skip it and save money on popcorn.  So the original made tons of money in spite of being a silly and absurd low-quality cinema.

Yep, here we go again. Here comes the sequel Angels and Demons that is even more absurd than the original.  The sequel has all the elements of the thriller, but somehow it just does not thrill too much.  Maybe, the plot is too ecclectic with threat of explosion in Vatican, kidnapping of prelates by weird secret underground society Illuminati and three stolen vials of antimatter from European Organization for Nuclear Research.  Naturally, aging celebrity actor Tom Hanks was a star and  hero in this movie too.

Catholic church got smart and kept relative silence while the movie was shown at the theaters. Thus, the revenue tricked down to lower amount. As of now, the studio did not even cover its budget of whopping 150 million bucks that were not-so-well spent.  Yet, I am sure that the creators will get back their money with the help of the audience that ran into the theaters the first time.

In childhood sometimes kids believe that if they have enough baloons they can go up in the air and fly away. As we grow up this belief vaporizes along with Santa Claus and Easter bunny. Obviously, the creators of the lastest animated film Up still somehow retained that childhood dream as they make that come into reality, at least on the big screen. They send grumpy old loner Carl with the  young scout Russel  to to South America on a house suspended from helium balloons.

This escapist fantasy produced by Pixar Animation Studios proved to be attractive to the audience and as it brought over 68 million dollars during the opening weekend.  The film lured a lot of family oriented movie goers even though in reality it would require 23 million balloons make Carl’s house fly, according to the calculation of the specialists.

Usually dissatisfied critics praised Up calling it really special and giving it great reviews.  And Robert Egbert liked it so much that he gave it four out of four stars.

Before making three Spider-man movies director Sam Raimi was entertaining us with Xena, Hercules, Cleopatra 2525 and other popular television series. But even before all this famous cinema master made himself a name with three Evil Is Dead cult movies. Basically, this trilogy effectively launched Raimi’s career as they brought a masterpieces of camp humor into the horror genre.

So, those of you who would go to see Raimi new film release Drag Me to Hell thinking that it is a pure horror genre might be dissappointed. In fact, I think that it is a return of magnificent film maestro back to his roots. If you watch movie with a light heart, you will find every element of fun horror, including an old gypsy curse, animal sacrifice, ancient demon Lamia and the usual three days of life-and-death situation.

I whole heartedly recommend to watch this film, especially if you are a fan of Raimi’s cinematography like me. Young actors Alison Lohman and Justin Long who play the main characters in the movie handled their jobs pretty well. Alison plays a loan officer with a promising career and Justin plays her boyfriend, a college professor from a rich family with stiff upper lip.

Last Sunday during MTV Movie Awards Show happily screaming audience was watching the new installment about brave vampire and his girlfriend named The Twilight Saga: New Moon. In fact, it seemed that the whole award show was about Twilight series and its main character. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were on and off stage all night. We got it right out of YouTube and show it here for you.

The only other memorable moment was when famous comedian Sasha Baron flew into the hall and landed his naked butt on rapper Eminem. Prominent rapper cussed out loudly and then in indignation left the show with his entourage.

“The Last House on the Left” is the re-make of the 1972 horror movie shot by famous director Wes Craven. I would say, this thriller is a softer version of the original which was banned in many countries because of its “extreme nature”. In 1972 film Mari dies and son of the main criminal Krug commits suicide, while here they both seem to survive. Or, for example, in the original Mari’s mother performs fellatio on one of the criminals then bites off his penis and spits it out in the lake. In this version, she and her husband kill him mercilessly with home appliances.

Movie trailer may give you the impression that there are elements of the supernatural in this film, but there are none. There are no movie stars in the cast, except for the aged but still recognizable face of the actor Tony Goldwyn who played Carl Bruner in the 80s hit “Ghost”. It is definitely not a family movie and it ends with the memorable execution of Krug performed with another home appliance: regular microwave.

For those of you who still remember 1987 thriller movie Fatal Attraction, the new film Obsessed is just another shameless reprise of the film with Michael Douglas and Glenn Close. Sometimes it makes me wonder, if there are any new ideas left in Hollywood at all? So many new movie releases are just remakes of the old ones… Fatal Attraction gave birth to a whole new films about psychopathic villains like Basic Instinct, Single White Female, Unlawful Entry and such. But Obsessed is not a variation, it is as close as one film version gets to the original while not being considered a remake.

In Fatal Attraction the main hero was a married man who had a weekend affair with a woman who refuses to end it and who becomes obsessed with him. But in Obsessed the main hero played by Idris Elba is a victim of an obsessed woman who rapes him after she slips him a mickey. In the old movie Michael Douglas strangles Glenn Close, but in the new one a strong and powerful wife played by Beyoncé Knowles, finished the nut off on her own. Throughout the movie an audience will hear a couple of songs performed by the same famous singer Beyoncé which, probably, boosted her acting fees as well.

Critics panned the movie, but people voted for it by their money, making the whole venture profitable again. So, trust me, soon we will see more copycats bringing us more anti-heroines with psychopathic tendencies against men who don’t want them.

After this movie finishes its run Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garney need to have a serious talk with their agents. The choice (and the quality) of the scripts that they offer the actors is getting progressively worse. Things like that can’t go on long – there is a big chance that the guys will eventually (if not already) lose their celebrity status. . Ghosts of Girlfriends Past claims to be a romantic comedy, but it is just is so boring and not funny that each and every movie critic panned it.

In fact, initially the first choice for the lead film character was not Matthew at all – it went to Ben Affleck. But he dropped out after the failure of another masterpiece Gigli and McConaughey was brought in to pick up the pieces. Matthew’s character is a womanizer who comes face to face with the ghosts of his girlfriends when he attends his brother’s wedding. This experience helps him to find his true love, who is played, of course, by Jennifer Garner. If you missed this film, you did not lose much, trust me.

One can’t just lose with this sequel. Especially if the original comedy brought authors over half a billion dollars. So here comes Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. Main character, played by Ben Stiller, is still divorced. But, behold, he is not a loser anymore – he has started a company to manufacture his inventions.

The rest of the plot is another combination of toothless comedy, pranks and special effects that take place inside American Museum of Natural History and the Smithsonian Institute in Washington DC (who would have guessed?). There is a couple of movie celebrities that joined the sequel cast.

Family oriented movie already scored, covering the budget, ads and marketing expenses. And I have no doubt that the revenue will keep on growing. I think, the most positive effect of this movie is that audience will find out that people in the Smithsonian do more than just boil decomposed corpses like in the TV show Bones. And new yorkers maybe will take their children one more time to the American Museum of Natural History like they did after they watched the first Night at the Museum.

The face of John Connor changed one more time in the Terminator franchise. In the fourth movie of the series Terminator Salvation we see Christian Bale as the leader of the resistance movement against the damn AI machines that took over the world. I bet, you will go and watch this movie anyways, no matter what I say here. I can just add that the film is entertaining as a science fiction thriller but it’s just not the same without Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Look what happened to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I just heard the announcement that Fox would not renew the show for a third season. And even if you liked it, you know why it has been shut down – no Arnold. The main thing that made the movie famous (at least on YouTube.com) was Christian Bale’s rant when he mercilessly cussed out the photography director and threatened to leave the cast during filming.